do you know what your corporate zodiac is?
astrology tells us about people and their future by their time, date and location of birth. the Chinese zodiac uses the year of a persons birth.
demographics tells us what others like, dislike. who they voted for, as well as what they buy and what they watch on television. the corporate zodiac goes a step further: simply by an individuals job title, people can pretty much learn about an employees hidden personality traits
you are ambitious, yet stupid. you chose a marketing degree to avoid having to actually study in university, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing-which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. least compatible with sales
laziest of all the corporate signs, often referred to as a ‘marketer without a degree‘. you are also self centered and paranoid. unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid all contact with customers so you can ‘concentrate on the big picture’. you seek admiration for your golf game, clothes, car and sex appeal throughout your career
Bright, cheery and positive, you are a 50 cent taxi ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play ‘customer service’. Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace
Typically you went to trade school because you didn’t have time for all that ‘crap’ required in university. Often, even you don’t understand what the hell you’re saying. But no one else except the engineers knows anyway. It is written that the geeks shall inherit the earth, but the senior managers keep contesting the will
One of only signs that actually studied in school, it is said that 60% of all people on the Internet are either engineers, or wish they were. You can be happy with yourself and the latest technology in you field. Your office is typically full of the latest gadgets, catalogues and half finished spec sheets
The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of your co-workers are convinced that you are completely without feeling or emotion. You are often caught in the bathroom, practicing your frown in the mirror
Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip in the company. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, and mail a letter! Your favorite expression is ‘now don’t say anything but…’
MID LEVEL MANAGERS/DEPARTMENT HEADS/TEAM LEADERS
Cut throat and ambitious, but you are destined to remain in your current job forever unless a senior manager dies or retires. You measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself and the number of subordinates you sleep with. Best suited to marry other middle managers, as everyone in your social circle must be at least a middle manager for appearance sake
You enjoy appearing to be the ultimate authority figure but actually, you are completely spineless, and determined to remain in your current job for the rest of your life, unless the head of your organization dies or retires. Unable to make a single decision, you pretend to measure your worth by the number of mid level managers you can harass on any given day and ensure that your office is the largest in the building. best suited to date/marry other senior managers, as everyone in your social circle is a senior manager; besides, no one else would have you anyway